12 Rounds
Directed by Renny Harlin
By Will Sloan

I finished watching 12 Rounds 15 minutes before I started writing this review. It might as well have been 15 years because I'm drawing a blank. I stare at the DVD case. The name "John Cena" appears above the title. John Cena… wasn't he one of the Monty Python guys? Nope, a Google search informs me that he is a WWE wrestler. Oh, wait, it's starting to come back. In 12 Rounds he plays Danny Fisher, a New Orleans police detective who gets a call from a madman he arrested (Aidan Gillen). Said madman has escaped from prison, kidnapped his girlfriend (Ashley Scott), and is forcing our hero to complete 12 difficult tasks all across New Orleans to save her life. "It's Die Hard with a Vengeance meets 24 meets that phone-booth/running scene in Dirty Harry" was undoubtedly heard at the pitch meeting. Die Hard 2 auteur Renny Harlin directs, riding high on a winning streak, including such mega-blockbusters as Driven, Mindhunters, and Exorcist: The Beginning. 12 Rounds is primarily a vehicle for the dubious talents of John Cena. I hate to be unkind, but movies may not be the direction Mr. Cena should be heading. Hearing him butcher complex lines like "hello" with his flat diction and glassy-eyed facial expression is an unpleasant, vaguely queasy experience. Granted, even Olivier would have trouble with the cornball clichés of Daniel Kunka's thuddingly routine script, and maybe Harlin should be commended for his bold, subversive decision to build an action movie around a star with no charisma whatsoever. Becoming emotionally invested in a character is so overrated. 12 Rounds achieves a certain basic level of competence — it looks good and chugs along at a quick pace — but you've seen everything this movie has to offer many times before, many times better. I'd say it's slightly better than the average direct-to-video Steven Seagal movie. Well, if memory serves. The DVD contains both unrated and theatrical cuts. Extras include two commentaries, a stunts documentary, and a "Never-Before-Cena Gag Reel." Gag. (Fox)
Dvd Reviews: Dante’s Inferno - Dir. by Victor Cook
Dvd Reviews: Daytime Drinking - Dir. by Young-Seok Noh
Dvd Reviews: The Godfather [Blu-Ray] - Dir. by Francis Ford Coppola
Film Reviews: Dear John - Dir. by Lasse Hallstrom
Film Reviews: Frozen - Dir. by Adam Green
Film Reviews: Saint John of Las Vegas - Dir. by Hue Rhodes
Film Reviews: From Paris With Love - Dir. by Pierre Morel
Dvd Reviews: Turner Classic Movies Sci-Fi Adventures
Dvd Reviews: Zombieland - Dir. by Ruben Fleischer
Dvd Reviews: Troubled Water - Dir. by Erik Poppe
Dvd Reviews: Wanda Sykes: I’ma Be Me - Dir. by Beth McCarthy
Music DVD Reviews: Various - GonerFest 4
Dvd Reviews: Surrogates - Dir. by Jonathan Mostow
Dvd Reviews: Turner Classic Movies Greatest Classic Films: Marx Brothers
Dvd Reviews: thirtysomething: The Complete Second Season
Dvd Reviews: Don’t You Forget About Me - Dir. by Matt Austin Sadowski
Dvd Reviews: Aziz Ansari - Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening
Dvd Reviews: Amelia - Dir. by Mira Nair
Dvd Reviews: Small Wonder: The Complete First Season
Dvd Reviews: Whiteout - Dir. by Domenic Sena
Dvd Reviews: Free Style - Dir. by William Dear
Film Reviews: Edge of Darkness - Dir. by Martin Campbell
Film Reviews: When In Rome - Dir. by Mark Steven Johnson
Film Reviews: The Yes Men Fix the World - Dir. by Andy Bichlbaum, Mike Bonanno & Kurt Engfehr
Film Reviews: La Donation - Dir. by Bernard Emond
Dvd Reviews: Saw VI - Dir. by Kevin Greutert
Dvd Reviews: Mary & Max - Dir. by Adam Elliott
Dvd Reviews: Little Ashes - Dir. by Paul Morrison
Dvd Reviews: Black Belt Jones / Hot Potato / Black Samson / Three The Hard Way - Dir. by Robert Clouse; Oscar Williams; Charles Bail; Gordon Parks Jr.
Videogame Reviews: Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks [Nintendo DS]
Videogame Reviews: The Sky Crawlers: Innocent Aces [Wii]
Film Reviews: Extraordinary Measures - Dir. by Tom Vaughan
Film Reviews: Petropolis: Aerial Perspective on the Alberta Tar Sands - Dir. by Peter Mettler
Film Reviews: Tooth Fairy - Dir. by Michael Lembeck
Film Reviews: The Last Station - Dir. by Michael Hoffman
Film Reviews: Creation - Dir. by Jon Amiel
Film Reviews: Creation - Dir. by Jon Amiel
Dvd Reviews: Moon [Blu-Ray] - Dir. by Duncan Jones
Music DVD Reviews: Exodus - Shovel Headed Tour Machine: Live At Wacken And Other Assorted Atrocities
Dvd Reviews: The Invention Of Lying [Blu-Ray] - Dir. by Ricky Gervais and Matthew Robinson
Dvd Reviews: Pandorum - Dir. by Christian Alvart
Dvd Reviews: I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell - Dir. by Bob Gosse
Dvd Reviews: Weeds Season Five
Dvd Reviews: The Age Of Stupid - Dir. by Franny Armstrong
Dvd Reviews: Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs - Dir. by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller
Dvd Reviews: Whip It - Dir. by Drew Barrymore
Dvd Reviews: Adam - Dir. by Max Mayer
Dvd Reviews: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone: Ultimate Edition [Blu-Ray]
Harry Potter and the Chamber Of Secrets: Ultimate Edition [Blu-Ray]
- Dir. by Chris Columbus
Dvd Reviews: According to Greta - Dir. by Nancy Bardawil
Dvd Reviews: Downloading Nancy - Dir. by Johan Renck
Dvd Reviews: Gamer - Dir. by Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor
Dvd Reviews: The Drummer - Dir. by Kenneth Bi
Dvd Reviews: Outrage - Dir. by Kirby Dick
Vancouver, BC rapper/producer Moka Only has always been diverse, dropping everything from dusty underground jams to shiny commercial songs, but Melba might just be his most out there yet, invading Kool Keith's turf. Most of Moka's beats for Melba are made with emphasis on the low-end o... Full Review
Based on Vancouver Island, Vinyl Record Guru is the brainchild of music industry veteran David Read. With over 25 years in the music business in both Canada and the U.S., and with extensive experience in manufacturing, distribution, retail and as an artist, David has been involved in pressing millions of records.... Read More
"I pretty much had a meltdown," Owen Pallett admits, laughing ruefully. "This record took a lot out of me." The 30-year-old violin genius didn't name his third full-length album Heartland for nothing. It's all blood, guts, emotion, and his own money that Pallett's poured into the epic, orchestral release, a project that was four years in the making, and according to some anxious and critical fans, long overdue.... Read More
Viewing the October 2007 Issue: Contents PageNewsClick Hear • Articles --> On the Cover  •  Front Five  •  Points  •  Comics  •  Questionnaire  •  Release Dates  •  Research  •  Timeline  •  Videogames  •  Web Exclusives • Music Reviews --> Recently Reviewed  •  Aggressive Tendencies  •  Beats & Rhymes  •  Destination Out  •  Frequencies  •  Groove  •  No Future  •  Pop Rocks  •  Wood, Wires & Whiskey  •  Concert Reviews • Motion Reviews --> Recently Reviewed  •  Dvd Reviews  •  Film Reviews  •  Music DVD Reviews  •  TIFF  •  Videogame Reviews • Music School --> Label Life  •  Meet & Greet  •  Need to Know  •  What I Play Contests • Contact --> About Us  • Advertising  • Distribution  • Getting Reviewed  • Getting Published  • Letters To The Editor  • Partnerships  • Subscriptions • Exclaim! Radio --> Aggressive Tendencies Radio  • Beats & Rhymes Radio  • Frequencies Radio  • Destination Out Radio  • Groove Radio  • No Future Radio  • Pop Rocks Radio  • Wood, Wires & Whiskey Radio Exclaim! TV • Home & Latest Issue Browse Issues