12 Rounds
Directed by Renny Harlin
By Will Sloan

I finished watching 12 Rounds 15 minutes before I started writing this review. It might as well have been 15 years because I'm drawing a blank. I stare at the DVD case. The name "John Cena" appears above the title. John Cena… wasn't he one of the Monty Python guys? Nope, a Google search informs me that he is a WWE wrestler. Oh, wait, it's starting to come back. In 12 Rounds he plays Danny Fisher, a New Orleans police detective who gets a call from a madman he arrested (Aidan Gillen). Said madman has escaped from prison, kidnapped his girlfriend (Ashley Scott), and is forcing our hero to complete 12 difficult tasks all across New Orleans to save her life. "It's Die Hard with a Vengeance meets 24 meets that phone-booth/running scene in Dirty Harry" was undoubtedly heard at the pitch meeting. Die Hard 2 auteur Renny Harlin directs, riding high on a winning streak, including such mega-blockbusters as Driven, Mindhunters, and Exorcist: The Beginning. 12 Rounds is primarily a vehicle for the dubious talents of John Cena. I hate to be unkind, but movies may not be the direction Mr. Cena should be heading. Hearing him butcher complex lines like "hello" with his flat diction and glassy-eyed facial expression is an unpleasant, vaguely queasy experience. Granted, even Olivier would have trouble with the cornball clichés of Daniel Kunka's thuddingly routine script, and maybe Harlin should be commended for his bold, subversive decision to build an action movie around a star with no charisma whatsoever. Becoming emotionally invested in a character is so overrated. 12 Rounds achieves a certain basic level of competence — it looks good and chugs along at a quick pace — but you've seen everything this movie has to offer many times before, many times better. I'd say it's slightly better than the average direct-to-video Steven Seagal movie. Well, if memory serves. The DVD contains both unrated and theatrical cuts. Extras include two commentaries, a stunts documentary, and a "Never-Before-Cena Gag Reel." Gag. (Fox)
Film Reviews: The Twilight Saga: New Moon - Dir. by Chris Weitz
Film Reviews: Planet 51 - Dir. by Jorge Blanco
Film Reviews: Mary and Max - Dir. by Adam Elliott
Film Reviews: The Blind Side - Dir. by John Lee Hancock
Film Reviews: Fantastic Mr. Fox - Dir. by Wes Anderson
Film Reviews: Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire - Dir. by Lee Edwards
Film Reviews: Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans - Dir. by Werner Herzog
Videogame Reviews: GTA IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony [Xbox 360]
Videogame Reviews: Dragon Age: Origins [Multi-platform]
Dvd Reviews: The Limits Of Control - Dir. by Jim Jarmusch
Dvd Reviews: In The Loop - Dir. by Armando Iannucci
Dvd Reviews: I Sell the Dead - Dir. by Glenn McQuaid
Dvd Reviews: Thirst - Dir. by Park Chan-wook
Dvd Reviews: Up - Dir. by Pete Docter
Dvd Reviews: Brüno - Dir. by Larry Charles
Dvd Reviews: Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian - Dir. by Shawn Levy
Dvd Reviews: The Transformers The Complete Series
Dvd Reviews: Franklyn - Dir. by Gerald McMorrow
Dvd Reviews: My One and Only - Dir. by Richard Loncraine
Dvd Reviews: My Effortless Brilliance - Dir. by Lynn Shelton
Music DVD Reviews: Marilyn Manson - Guns, God and Government Live in L.A. [Blu-Ray]
Dvd Reviews: Monty Python: Almost the Truth The Laywer’s Cut
Dvd Reviews: Battlestar Galactica: The Plan - Dir. by Edward James Olmos
Film Reviews: The Horse Boy - Dir. by Michel Orion Scott
Film Reviews: Love & Savagery - Dir. by John N. Smith
Film Reviews: Pirate Radio - Dir. by Richard Curtis
Film Reviews: I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell - Dir. by Bob Gosse
Film Reviews: 2012 - Dir. by Roland Emmerich
Film Reviews: The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day - Dir. by Troy Duffy
Film Reviews: Antichrist - Dir. by Lars von Trier
Film Reviews: Prom Night in Mississippi - Dir. by Paul Saltzman
Music DVD Reviews: Brutal Truth - For the Ugly and Unwanted: This Is Grindcore
Music DVD Reviews: Bob Marley - Stations of the Cross
Dvd Reviews: Aliens in the Attic - Dir. by John Schultz
Dvd Reviews: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation: 20th Anniversary Collector’s Edition [Blu-ray] - Dir. by Jeremiah S. Chechik
Dvd Reviews: Kathy Griffin: She’ll Cut a Bitch - Dir. by Paul Miller
Dvd Reviews: The Ugly Truth - Dir. by Robert Luketic
Dvd Reviews: Merry Sitcom! Christmas Classics From TV’s Golden Age
Dvd Reviews: Animation Express
Dvd Reviews: Passchendaele - Dir. by Paul Gross
Dvd Reviews: Bald - Dir. by Blake Leibel
Dvd Reviews: Mystery Science Theater 3000 XVI
Dvd Reviews: Film Noir Classics 1 - Dir. by Various
Dvd Reviews: The L-Word: The Complete Final Season
Dvd Reviews: G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero Box Set
Dvd Reviews: Il Divo - Dir. by Paolo Sorrentino
Film Reviews: The Box - Dir. by Richard Kelly
Film Reviews: The Fourth Kind - Dir. by Olatunde Osunsanmi
Film Reviews: A Christmas Carol - Dir. by Robert Zemeckis
Film Reviews: Gentlemen Broncos - Dir. by Jared Hess
Film Reviews: Inside Hana’s Suitcase - Dir. by Larry Weinstein
Music DVD Reviews: Damon & Naomi - 1001 Nights
Music DVD Reviews: Leonard Cohen & His Army - Leonard Cohen Live at the Isle of Wight 1970
Music DVD Reviews: Roxy Music - The Story of Roxy Music: More Than This
Dvd Reviews: Orphan [Blu-Ray] - Dir. by Jaume Collet-Serra
Dvd Reviews: G. I. Joe — Season 1.2
Dvd Reviews: The Taking of Pelham 123 - Dir. by Tony Scott
Dvd Reviews: The Narrows - Dir. by Francois Valle
Dvd Reviews: The Answer Man - Dir. by John Hindman
Dvd Reviews: Easy Rider — 40th Anniversary Edition [Blu-Ray] - Dir. by Dennis Hopper
Dvd Reviews: Monsters Vs. Aliens - Dir. by Rob Letterman and Conrad Vernon
Film Reviews: More than a Game - Dir. by Kristopher Belman
Film Reviews: Amreeka - Dir. by Charion Dabis
Film Reviews: The Collector - Dir. by Marcus Dunstan
Film Reviews: Bronson - Dir. by Nicolas Winding Refn
Dvd Reviews: Vega$: The First Season — Volume 1
Dvd Reviews: Stan Helsing - Dir. by Bo Zenga
Dvd Reviews: Spin City: Season Three
Dvd Reviews: Natural Born Killers — Director’s Cut - Dir. by Oliver Stone
Dvd Reviews: Frownland - Dir. by Ronald Bronstein
Dvd Reviews: Flashpoint: The First Season
Dvd Reviews: Afterwards - Dir. by Gilles Bourdos
Film Reviews: Michael Jackson’s This Is It - Dir. by Kenny Ortega
Film Reviews: Three Blind Mice - Dir. by Matthew Newton
Film Reviews: The September Issue - Dir. by R.J. Cutler
Film Reviews: Astroboy - Dir. by David Bowers
Film Reviews: Amelia - Dir. by Mira Nair
Music DVD Reviews: Various - The Secret Policeman Rocks!
Music DVD Reviews: The Beatles - Rare and Unseen
Music DVD Reviews: The Moody Blues - Live at the Isle of Wight Festival 1970
Music DVD Reviews: All the Way From Michigan Not Mars - Dir. by Matt Boyd
Dvd Reviews: Gigantic - Dir. by Matt Aselton
Dvd Reviews: The Proposal - Dir. by Anne Fletcher
Dvd Reviews: Andy Barker, P.I. The Complete Series
Dvd Reviews: 30 Rock Season 3
Dvd Reviews: High School Record - Dir. by Ben Wolfinsohn
Dvd Reviews: I Love You, Beth Cooper - Dir. by Chris Columbus
Dvd Reviews: Year One - Dir. by Harold Ramis
Dvd Reviews: Superman/Batman: Public Enemies [Blu-Ray] - Dir. by Sam Liu
Dvd Reviews: Dead Snow - Dir. by Tommy Wirkola
Dvd Reviews: Nip/Tuck: Season Five, Part Two
Film Reviews: Taqwacore - Dir. by Omar Majeed
Film Reviews: The Men Who Stare At Goats - Dir. by Grant Heslov
Film Reviews: The Men Who Stare At Goats - Dir. by Grant Heslov
It's unfortunate the words "maturity" and "growth" are stigmas in the world of punk rock. They would be the perfect descriptors for Toronto, ON-based Hostage Life's tertiary release. Maintaining the adage that a band never realize their true potential until their third album, the quintet prove thems... Full Review
In an interesting twist of Hollywood fate, Chris and Paul Weitz have entered the final stretch of 2009 each in control of a major vampire franchise built from the pages of popular young adult fiction.

From one half of the brotherly team who brought us American Pie and About ... Full Review
Game designer Tim Schafer is not a well-known man, at least not to the mainstream. But like Buffy creator Joss Whedon, Schafer's a full-blown hero amongst the geek-pop set, his name synonymous with creative vision, critical acclaim, fervent fans and, alas, sub-par sales.... Read More
Viewing the October 2007 Issue: Contents PageNewsClick Hear • Articles --> On the Cover  •  Front Five  •  Points  •  Comics  •  Questionnaire  •  Release Dates  •  Research  •  Timeline  •  Videogames  •  Web Exclusives • Music Reviews --> Recently Reviewed  •  Aggressive Tendencies  •  Beats & Rhymes  •  Destination Out  •  Frequencies  •  Groove  •  No Future  •  Pop Rocks  •  Wood, Wires & Whiskey  •  Concert Reviews • Motion Reviews --> Recently Reviewed  •  Dvd Reviews  •  Film Reviews  •  Music DVD Reviews  •  TIFF  •  Videogame Reviews • Music School --> Label Life  •  Meet & Greet  •  Need to Know  •  What I Play Contests • Contact --> About Us  • Advertising  • Distribution  • Getting Reviewed  • Getting Published  • Letters To The Editor  • Partnerships  • Subscriptions • Exclaim! Radio --> Aggressive Tendencies Radio  • Beats & Rhymes Radio  • Frequencies Radio  • Destination Out Radio  • Groove Radio  • No Future Radio  • Pop Rocks Radio  • Wood, Wires & Whiskey Radio Exclaim! TV • Home & Latest Issue Browse Issues