A Cinderella Story
Directed by Mark Rosman
By Peter Knegt

Charles Perrault’s story of Cinderella is timeless, filled with ever-important themes of self-respect and misused authority. Yet how many times do we really need to experience this story translated into film? In addition to the very popular ’50s Walt Disney adaptation, we just had Drew Barrymore give us her take a few years back with Ever After. And now a modern take on the classic has arrived with A Cinderella Story, with Hilary Duff filling the glass slippers this time around. There is no doubt that Perrault has been turning in his grave since this one went into production.

Duff plays Sam, a Los Angeles high school student who has her share of problems. Her controlling stepmother Fiona (Jennifer Coolidge) works her to the bone both around the house and at her diner. Sam dreams of leaving this life, which leads her to a chatroom for aspiring Princeton students, where she begins an online relationship with a cyber Prince Charming (Chad Michael Murray, who seems to only be capable of expressing a maximum of three emotions). The two agree to meet at a costume dance and I’m sure you know the rest of the story.

Duff is barely mediocre, bordering on irritating on many different occasions, and the numerous subplots are often ridiculous and boring. In fact, the script (by newcomer Leigh Dunlap) as a whole is so bland and uninspired that there wasn’t really much director Mark Rosman could have done.

As the wicked stepmother, Jennifer Coolidge was the only reason I didn’t walk out of the theatre after half-an-hour. The best thing about the Legally Blonde and American Pie films, Coolidge somehow makes her lines (which, honestly, could have been written by monkeys) sound somewhat humorous.

Still, don’t see A Cinderella Story. Instead, go watch Hilary Duff’s arch-rival Lindsay Lohan’s Mean Girls again. At least Lohan knows what a decent script looks like. (Warner)
Garden State - Dir. by Zach Braff
Garden State has a promising start. You might not expect greatness but you are hopeful for a quirky, sweet film, which is why its ending of forced optimism is so frustrating. Andrew Largeman (Zach Braff, who also writes and directs, and is best known for his role on Scrubs) returns to New Jersey for his mother’s funeral. He is a mildly successful actor working as a waiter and floating through life. This is not Rick Moody’s version of the Garden State but it does have similar themes of disaffected 20 somethings and too many drugs. ...Read More
A Home at the End of the World - Dir. by Michael Mayer
Alien Vs. Predator - Dir. by Paul W.S. Anderson
Alila - Dir. by Amos Gitai
Catwoman - Dir. by Pitof
Collateral - Dir. by Michael Mann
Control Room - Dir. by Jehane Noujaim
Festival Express - Dir. by Bob Smeaton
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle - Dir. by Danny Leiner
Little Black Book - Dir. by Nick Hurran
Mean Creek - Dir. by Jacob Aaron Estes
Metallica: Some Kind Of Monster - Dir. by Bruce Sinofsky and Joel Berlinger
Nothing - Dir. by Vincenzo Natali
Riding Giants - Dir. by Stacey Peralta
Shaolin Soccer - Dir. by Stephen Chow
Since Otar Left - Dir. by Julie Bertuccelli
The Bourne Supremacy - Dir. by Paul Greengrass
The Door in the Floor - Dir. by Tod Williams
The Manchurian Candidate - Dir. by Jonathan Demme
The Village - Dir. by M. Night Shyamalan
Without A Paddle - Dir. by Steven Brill
Zhou Yu’s Train - Dir. by Sun Zhou
The Music Box
The term "videogame music" is often intended as an insult, deriding electronic beatscapes as rudimentary by comparing them to the 8-bit by necessity, bleep-based soundtracks of early Atari and Nintendo games. (See: Castles, Crystal) That Super Mario's theme music remains embedded in the frontal lobes of anyone under the age of 40 proves the critical weakness of the diss ― but it's also hopelessly archaic considering how much videogame music has evolved over the years.... Read More
Etaoin Shrdlu - Mating Calls
Explosive and precise, Etaoin Shrdlu knowingly wink at the perception that their post-hardcore math rock musical approach might be a throwback while simultaneously contributing something vibrant to punk rock with Mating Calls. Featuring members of significant bands like Blake, I Can Put my Ar... Full Review
Bayonetta [PS3 / Xbox 360]
"I've got a fever and the only cure is dead angels."
-Bayonetta

Ever since the Christmastime gaming deluge ended, I've been killing a lot of angels. Though God's messengers have been bad guys in other pop-cultural products ― His Dark Materials book trilogy, the pas... Full Review
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