Worst Lyrics of 2008 Revealed
12/9/2008 By Brock Thiessen

As we begin to reflect on the year in music, the folks over at the Guardian have put the lyrics of some of 2008’s most prominent releases under the microscope and needless to say, the results aren’t pretty.

Backed by literary analyst John Sutherland, the Guardian staff have come out with a list of the year’s dumbest lyrics, and among the main offenders are the prose of Coldplay, Kings of Leon, Oasis and, our personal favourite, the Killers, with their “Are we human or are we dancer?” line.

You can check out the full list and commentary here but here’s just a taste of what you’re in for:

Coldplay “Lost”

Just because I'm losing

Doesn't mean I'm lost

Doesn't mean I'll stop

Doesn't mean I'm across

Just because I'm hurting

Doesn't mean I'm hurt

Doesn't mean I didn't get (pronounced "ge-eh-eh-et") what I deserve

No better and no worse

I just got lost

Every river that I've tried to cross

Every door I ever tried was locked

Ooh-oh, and I'm just waiting 'til the shine wears off

Guardian says: “Chris Martin has long been a man who uses rhymes in much the same way as an OCD sufferer uses soap. But even the man who promised ‘lights will guide you home and ignite your bones’ was pushing his poor standards to the breaking point when he rhymed ‘hurt’ with ‘deserve,’ cunningly trying to distract us from that fact by giving the word ‘get’ four syllables along the way. Having already shoehorned ‘lost,’ ‘stop’ and ‘across’ into the same verse like a pissed limerick-writer, he then goes on a cack-handed rhyme rampage, all the while offering all the profound insight of a bumper sticker.”

Professor Sutherland says: “This song is a deflated balloon. or, put another way, a used empty condom. He has, I think, merged visual, audio and textual into a kind of polysensory jam; no part of it works without the other two.

“The song is really all refrain. It's not clear whether the worn-out phrases, which carry a lot of stale baggage (better or worse, Gwyneth and marriage in there somewhere?). The linkage in the verse is not, I think, prosodic [rhyme, alliteration, assonance, etc.] but mood and melancholy have always been his long suit.”

Coldplay “Lost”
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